The Socio-Functional Theory of Human Nature

The Socio-Functional Theory of Human Nature

A theory about the Socio-Functional essence of human nature

Highlights:

Since the earliest times, we have always sought meaning.

Meaning of life and of our existence.

Meaning and answer to the question “Why?”.

Why do we suffer, why do we rejoice, why do we love, why do we feel this way or the other, why do we do the things we do, why others are the way they are, and many other such torments, all starting with the question “why?”

The truth is that as many people on earth are – as many opportunities to discover different meanings are there.

However, in order for any meaning to exist to anyone, this person must exist in the first place. To have been born as a result of the continuation of the species carried out by his parents.

The individual, however, rarely thinks about these questions.

We don’t think of ourselves as a biological species. Therefore, we often don’t see the continuation of the species as an evolutionary or biological task, but rather as a personal choice influenced by our understandings, and/or policies, trends, fashions, and biases.

In this line of thought, it is important to emphasize that our existence as a species is a precondition for any meaning to be sought afterward.

That being said, the first step is to reproduce.

This also brings us to the evolutionary goal of all biological species, to which we as people also belong: to reproduce and thus contribute to the survival of their species.

If we fail to achieve this goal, humanity will simply disappear from the face of the Earth.

That said, it becomes clear that at a deep biological level the “meaning of life” is the continuation of the species.

In other words, the deep underlying motive of all living things is the fulfillment of this evolutionary goal.

The world itself, with its natural characteristics, is a harsh place to live in.

To this, we add the fact that all species (including us) inhabit the same territory in which resources and space are limited and therefore have to coexist in constant competition for them.

But as we know, even though we are currently at the top of the food pyramid, we do not enjoy a very competitive physiology (compared to many animal species, our physical strength, teeth, claws, and senses, are uncompetitive, in the context of possible physical collision. We also don’t have tusks, venom, horns or spikes, etc. advantages that many species have).

All this puts us in front of constant challenges throughout our life, in our quest to achieve the evolutionary goal.

The number of these challenges is indeed huge, but they are often similar in type, origin, and characteristics.

This makes it easier for us to deal with them.

In reality, we do not have to deal with millions, but with several types, or in other words, groups of challenges with similar characteristics, origins, and types.

These groups of challenges could be classified and reduced logically (by similarities) to a few in number.

Our ability to deal with these few groups of challenges determines our ability to survive as a species.

This turns the need to “deal” with these groups of challenges into a major driving force – something that every person has to do everywhere and constantly, and without which survival becomes a significantly more difficult task.

For this reason, we view addressing each of these groups of challenges as a necessity, or in other words, a basic psychological need.

Thanks to millennia of development, evolution has equipped us with various mechanisms to deal with these sets of challenges, helping only the most adaptable of people to survive and continue to reproduce and pass on their genes over time.

We call these specific mechanisms “Human Nature”.

On the one hand, human nature is biologically conditioned by the biochemical processes in our bodies, but on the other hand, it is socially influenced, as we live in groups to more easily cope with the challenges of the environment.

This coexistence in groups requires some of the aforementioned coping mechanisms to be socially oriented.

For this reason, we call the mechanisms for dealing with challenges (and correspondingly satisfying the mentioned needs) “Socio-Functional” and we say that human nature is socio-functional in its essence.

In order to be able to build a qualitative understanding of what has been described so far, we will look at the mentioned groups of needs without ordering them in order of importance:

1. The need for gratification: As it became clear, the importance of satisfaction of our needs is so great that our survival as a species literally depends on it. However, how does a person know when a certain need of his has to be satisfied? In nature, there is a concept called “Homeostasis” – a constant striving of every system, (such as the human body) to maintain a balance between the internal and external environment of the system. Whenever homeostasis (balance) is disturbed, certain mechanisms are activated to drive various processes to restore this balance. We call this group of mechanisms “Gratification“.

2. The need for security: The harsh and unpredictable environment we live in, creates the need for a set of mechanisms to help us avoid anything risky and dangerous in order to protect ourselves from harm. We call this group of mechanisms “Caution“.

3. The need to be healthy: The presence of a variety of bacteria, germs, and other pathogens, as well as the presence of a variety of negative influences, including social ones (coming from the behavior of others), makes the environment threatening to our health in ways that often remain “hidden” for the mechanisms mentioned above (that deals with potential injuries). This threatens our health and gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to help us take care of it, avoiding these negative influences. We call this group of mechanisms “Well-Being“.

4. Need for predictability: The only sure thing in this world is change. It is constantly happening, it is unpredictable, and it brings with it challenges and risks. The more difficult it is for a person to adapt “on the fly” to changes, the greater the need for predictability and structure that person feels in order to more easily cope with the challenges that come with these changes. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to help us deal with change in one of two possible ways – either by improving our ability to adapt “on the fly” or by helping us to structure the world in such ways so that it is less chaotic and more predictable for us. We call this group of mechanisms “Adaptability”.

5. Need for stimulation: The ability to adapt to change, however, is related to the tendency of the human organism, once adapted, to get used to the circumstances and conditions in which it finds itself. This tendency is influenced by the already mentioned striving for “Homeostasis”. Homeostasis leads to a kind of stagnation for the person in the so-called “Comfort zone”. The changing nature of the world and environment, however, does not care for our quest for homeostasis. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to help us develop and thereby increase our ability to adapt to ever greater and more drastic changes and challenges. We call this group of mechanisms “Openness to experience“.

6. The need to identify the useful and good for our needs: In the process of pursuing the stimulation described above, we have the need to identify if we either encountered a useful or harmful phenomenon for our needs. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms directing us to such ways of interacting with the surrounding world, which “indicate” to us whether what is happening (the thing with which we interact) is useful for our needs or not. We call this group of mechanisms “Enjoyment”.

7. The need to move towards the useful, the good, and the fruitful in the future: Our ability to identify the useful mentioned above leads us to another interesting phenomenon. We get the opportunity to predict those interactions which will potentially improve our ability to satisfy our needs. This, in turn, gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to help us move towards and eventually achieve these results in the future and thus improve our ability to satisfy our needs. We call this group of mechanisms “Ambition“.

8. Need for resources: Maintaining the previously mentioned homeostasis is related to the expenditure of energy, which is finite in the human body and is exhausted after a certain time (different for each individual). To be able to continue functioning, we need to manage the expenditure of our energy, as well as regenerate it. Thus, we store, redirect and prioritize its expenditure (until it is restored) only for the “most important” (subjectively) needs. Both the management of energy in the human body and its regeneration are processes related to various resources that we acquire from interaction with the environment. This gives rise to the need for a group of mechanisms to stimulate the acquisition, storage, and distribution of these resources, as well as the regeneration of energy following their absorption. We call this group of mechanisms “Thriftiness”.

9 Need for social status: As we mentioned at the beginning of the theory, resources are a finite number (for any given territory) and often there are not enough for everyone. This gives rise to the phenomenon of social hierarchy (the higher in this hierarchy we are, the more benefits we gain), and it gives rise to the need for mechanisms that will help us to position ourselves higher in this social hierarchy. Thus, we enjoy more privileges such as time, attention and resources, access to intimate partners, information, etc. – all in support of the satisfaction of our needs. We call this group of mechanisms “Status”.

10. The need to continue the species: As it became clear from the introductory part of the present theory, the continuation of the species is the main evolutionary goal of every living organism, including people. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to assist this process. We call this group of mechanisms “Intimacy”.

So far so good, you might say, but how does it all actually work?

What exactly are these mechanisms and how do they work in practice – in the real world?

In order for these so-called needs to be satisfied, nature has given us a few different ways to make this process happen. Here they are:

Through feelings
Through our intellect
Through our body
Through other people (functioning in a group)
Through our interaction with another person (interpersonal interaction)
Through our behaviors (adaptive and maladaptive)
Through the choices we make

Since everything we do can be traced to these few “ways”, this makes them indistinguishable from the needs explained earlier. In other words – if we want to satisfy our needs, we need to use those ways, which basically turn them into needs themselves.

We call them “Secondary Needs”.

An important clarification is that just because they are called secondary does not mean they are less important than the primary described above. Often, people may experience these needs as even more important. It just goes to show that they serve to satisfy the basic ones from above.

Let’s look at them one by one:

11. Feelings (the need to distinguish between good and bad): Since we (like many other living things) are born, to put it mildly, unprepared for all the challenges that the world throws at us, we need a way to distinguish good from bad. Therefore, nature had to provide us with a mechanism that would allow us to orient ourselves on a purely intuitive level about what is useful and what is harmful to us and our needs. Thus, we experience positive feelings in relation to things that bring us closer to satisfying our needs and negative feelings in relation to things that move us away from satisfying them. We say that feelings have a “motivational character” because they move us towards the given thing or away from it (depending on whether or not it is useful for our needs or harmful to them).

12. Intellect (the need for awareness, understanding, and meaning): The feelings described above “push us around” according to the situation. This is often a too primitive and maladaptive way of dealing with challenges, as it encourages only the momentary gratification, “here and now”, of a particular need, without taking into account the role of the person in the context of different circumstances, past lessons, future possibilities and the interrelationships between phenomena. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms that would give us the ability to process the flow of information coming through the senses as a result of our interaction with the surrounding world, as well as to store it for future use. This group of mechanisms makes possible for us the process of awareness and understanding of ourselves and our existence in the context of the surrounding world, its phenomena and the time frame of everything in existence. These mechanisms provide us with a measure of self-control and influence over our feelings and help us to more adaptively satisfy our needs in view of our own conditions, past, future, and the interrelationships between all the phenomena connected with them. It is these mechanisms that actually position humans at evolutionary higher levels compared to other animal species. And the group of mechanisms, we call “Intellect“.

13. Body (the need for effective interaction with the environment): Our non-competitive physique compared to other species, described at the beginning, requires nature to seek alternative means of compensation so as to give us a chance. These alternative methods should help us use our body more adaptively (instrumentally) and efficiently (conserving energy) and thus more successfully satisfy our needs. We call this group of mechanisms “Physical Efficiency“.

14. Through other people (the need to function in groups): As mentioned at the beginning, one of the ways we cope with challenges is by coming together and living in groups with other people to increase our chances of survival and satisfying our needs. Thus arises the need for a set of mechanisms to stimulate our ability to find groups, join them, and use them to satisfy our needs. We call this group of mechanisms “Sociability”.

15. Interpersonal interaction (the need to get along with other people): As it became clear from the previous need, in order to get support for satisfying our needs, we organize our lives in groups. But this, in itself, is a problem, since even within the group, resources are limited and not always enough for everyone. This leads to intragroup competition. It is, however, detrimental to the group itself and would lead to its collapse, as each member of the group would pursue his own interest. This gives rise to the need for a group of mechanisms that allow us to orient ourselves on a purely intuitive level about what in relationships with other people is useful and what is harmful, both for our personal needs and for those of others. Through these mechanisms, we acquire the ability to identify the needs of others and match our own with theirs, adapting. It even gives us an incentive to help other people in the process of meeting their needs. Without these mechanisms, groups simply could not exist and humans could not coexist together, let alone continue the species. We call this group of mechanisms “Interpersonal Sensitivity”.

16. Behaviors (adaptive) (the need for the group to accept us): To function successfully in a group, however, it is not enough for us to find a group and join it. The group, in turn, must also accept us. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to help us engage in such behaviors in the context of coexistence with other people that help us to be accepted by the group. We call this group of mechanisms “Adaptive Habits“.

17. Behaviours (maladaptive) (the need to satisfy our needs despite the group and other people): Living in a group, on the other hand, often leads to an unpleasant consequence – the group imposes on us certain patterns of behavior that are acceptable to it, but which are often harmful to our individual needs. And since we always prioritize our personal needs, this gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to help us satisfy our needs despite social expectations. We call this group of mechanisms “Socially Maladaptive Behaviors”.

18. The choices that we make (the need for the “right” environment and circumstances): The fact that we all grow up in different life circumstances and conditions, plus all the influences from family, social environment, media, cultural characteristics, etc., leads to the formation of the last – this time entirely social group of mechanisms for dealing with challenges. We call this group of mechanisms “Values” and it is a combination of certain beliefs, attitudes, and preferences in relation to what and how is good, useful, and valuable in the context of our needs.

The interesting thing about Values is that if a person finds himself in circumstances that are not in harmony with his values, he experiences negative feelings. Accordingly, in the opposite scenario, he experiences positive ones. This automatically means that we all need to put ourselves in the “right” circumstances (places, activities, social environment, partners, etc.) that are in tune with our values if we want to lead a satisfactory life.

As you may have noticed, the list of secondary needs above continues the numbering from the primary ones. The information is structured in this way because for a person, the way of “experiencing” primary and secondary needs is very similar. Or in other words, we do not feel the two types of needs differently. Moreover, failure to satisfy both types of needs has lasting negative consequences for both – our physical and mental health.

For this reason, we say that if a person permanently neglects his needs (in general – both types), then he will not be able to function normally and at some point, this will lead to a deterioration of his health.

And this brings us to the ultimate human selfishness, the explanation of ego and self-interest…

We can summarize that the 18 needs (basic + secondary) described above, are the driving force behind everything in our lives. In other words, everything we do, think, choose, and say in our lives is the result of one or more of the described needs.

This is also the reason for the notion that human beings are inherently selfish and that we all act to satisfy our own needs. Even when we think and act for the benefit of another person, the ultimate goal is still to satisfy one or more of our own needs.

What all people have in common is that each person possesses all of the mentioned mechanisms (serving to satisfy needs). Therefore, we often refer to these mechanisms as characteristics of human nature.

And this is no accident. As has become clear, if we do not satisfy these needs, we will not survive as a species.

This is important for one more reason – it is good to understand that our needs should come first.

Why?

Because we won’t be able to fully take care of anyone else if we haven’t taken care of ourselves first!

Sounds counter-intuitive right?

Socio-FunctionalF essence of human nature.jpg

Consider the following puzzle:

Imagine you are in a crashed plane. Everything burns. There are you, a mother with a small child, and an elderly person on the plane. Everyone but you is stuck without being able to move. There is only one wet blanket available that you could use to protect someone.

Who will you use the blanket for?

The correct answer is – for you. And this is not accidental… All participants in the example will have a greater chance of survival if you save yourself with the blanket and go to seek help. Otherwise, no matter whom you save, you all die – remember, they’re stuck!

And while this is an imaginary scenario, we can easily think of real-life examples. Here are a few:

A mother could not fully care for her child if her needs were not met (at least to some extent). Otherwise, she becomes irritable, short-tempered, neglectful and unreasonable. It focuses on the wrong things and misses important details in the context of child care.
A husband could not take care of his wife if his needs were not met (at least to some extent). Otherwise, he too, like the above example, will feel, think and act against her instead of for her.
A leader in an organization could not take care of the needs of the organization if his needs were not met (at least to some extent). Otherwise, he will look for ways to extract maximum benefits for himself, which will lead to the neglect of organizational processes, and hence lead to a decrease in the effectiveness of the organization.

All this comes to show the profound misunderstanding in the modern world of the importance of healthy selfishness.

That said, it’s important to clarify what healthy selfishness means. Selfishness should never come “at the expense” of other people. Or in other words – one should always prioritize one’s own needs, BUT without preventing others from doing the same or harming other people’s needs.

Ok, but why are people different you ask? And why are some people more clearly expressed, egoists than others?

This is how we get to the idea of the similarities and differences between people…

What all people have in common is that each person possesses all of the mentioned mechanisms (serving to satisfy needs).

Therefore, we often call these mechanisms universal characteristics of human nature.

Differences between people, in turn, are due to the degree and strength with which each of these characteristics manifests itself in each individual.

We can think of this “manifestation” as a scale from 1% to 100%. The closer the individual’s score is to 1%, the less pronounced the specific characteristic is. Conversely, the closer it is to 100%, the more strongly it is manifested.

As it became clear above, the mentioned characteristics are actually the socio-functional mechanisms that we use to satisfy our needs.

Therefore, the higher the scores on all mechanisms for satisfying a given need, the more capable we are of satisfying it, and the more time, attention, energy, and resources we will devote to satisfying it.

Why do we care?

Very simply – the more time, attention, energy, and resources we devote to satisfying a given need, the less we have left for other needs.

At some point, this makes us “good” at satisfying some needs at the expense of others. or in other words, it builds in us “strengths” for certain things and “weaknesses” for others.

An important understanding of “strengths” and “weaknesses” is that they are not “good” or “bad” on their own.

They are only so in a certain context.

To illustrate what has been said, we will give an example:

One of the mechanisms from the group of “Goal–orientedness” (for satisfying the need to move towards the useful in the future) is called “Energy”. High scores on the scale (trait) “Energy” (describing a person’s tendency to be active, energetic, and to think, act, and generally function “at a higher speed” than other people) would be useful for a person who deals with sports, for example.

On the other hand, the same high scores on the scale in question would not be of such importance for a person working as a watchmaker, for example.

Thus, we arrive at the logical question of how a person can objectively assess what his results are for each of the individual characteristics (how strong are the manifestations of the individual mechanisms specifically for him) and, accordingly, what would he be best at according to his profile.

And the answer is: through individual psychological profiling. (You can learn more about this here)

This raises a significant question: Can a person change?

An important topic that we should touch on is the question of whether all these characteristics that we have mentioned and that we can “measure” through psychological profiling are permanent over time, or can a person develop and change?

There is no simple answer…

Although human nature is lasting (durable) and hard to change, there are scenarios where it can change over time. Here they are:

If a person suffers a serious trauma (for example, a serious accident or physical injury) capable of permanently changing the internal biochemistry of his body and/or lifestyle.

If a person drastically changes the environment in which he lives. For example, after a secluded life on a livestock farm in Africa, to move to a large, cold northern city in Finland, where his daily life is connected with sales and constant contact with many people.

If, for some reason, biochemical, and genetic processes or diseases are triggered in his body, which significantly changes its neuro-biochemical structure.

If a person undergoes psychotherapy or another intensive process of working with professionals in the context of his personality.

If a person (for one reason or another) permanently fails to satisfy any of the previously described needs for long periods of time (years).

To summarise, it is good to understand that change in human nature is possible, but it is difficult, slow, and often not very drastic.

This suggests that an important step in a person’s life is to seek a fit between his human nature and the demands of the environment. If we think about it, since it is difficult for a person to change, if he wants to be successful, satisfied, and happy in life, it makes much more sense to strive to find jobs, long-term intimate partners, hobbies, etc., that are in harmony with his characteristics, instead of ones that require radically different traits (See the example of tempo-rhythm above).

The ultimate personal responsibility and luck – explained

The already-established understanding of the Socio-Functional essence of human nature informs us about what makes us do the things we do.

In fact, summing up the influence of all the constructs and mechanisms described above, we can claim that they are responsible for more than 99% of everything we do, think, choose, speak, and believe.

This is an extremely important finding, as it helps us to realize that for every outcome in our life, everything that happens to us (or at least 99% of it) is actually due to ourselves.

To test this thesis, we can try to analyze our previous experiences, which will lead us to the conclusion that there is no event in our life that cannot be traced back in time to something we said, did, decided, or thought of. (or respectively something that we did NOT say, do, decided, or thought)

This practically means that at the end of the day, we are fully responsible for everything in our lives!

In order to address the obvious question – “And where does the other 1% go?” – the Socio-Functional Theory examines the concept of “Luck” in the context of the already described human characteristics:

Luck is those events, circumstances, and phenomena for which objectively there was no information that a person could receive, understand and use in advance in order to influence the events.

It is important to clarify that if such information existed, but the person for one reason or another did not capture, process, and use it, then we are no longer talking about luck, but about the inability to cope, which automatically turns it into a personal responsibility again.

With this, the Socio-Functional Theory exhausts the cause-and-effect relationships for everything in human life.

From here on, the question follows: “What do we do with this knowledge?

Since knowledge is only meaningful and useful in the context of its real-world applicability, to conclude, we will focus on the 6 areas that matter most to us as humans and to the quality of our lives.

We say that these areas of life matter most because they often take up most of our time, effort, resources, and awareness.

In addition, the things we do in these 6 areas of our life largely determine its quality.

Making an effort to improve any one of those 6 areas has a lasting, holistic, positive impact on each of the other 5, thus each contributing to our overall happiness, satisfaction, and meaning in our lives.

The Socio-Functional Theory of Human Nature describes the six most important areas of human life as follows:

Relationships, Intimacy, and Love
Parenthood
Health
Career, Business, and Leadership
Social contacts and Reputation
Personal development

And since the reason we created this theory and our main mission is to help people live happy, meaningful, and fulfilling lives, we offer you just that – to help you master the ability to apply this knowledge in the 6 main areas of life, in order to improve it in each of them.

Find out more about the applicability of Socio-Functional Theory and the problems it solves – here…

And if you want to learn more about your human nature and its manifestations in any of the 6 areas described, we offer you the process of in-depth psychological profiling, which aims to shed light on the characteristics of your human nature described in the theory, and the ways in which these characteristics influence of your life…

I want to get profiled

The Socio-Functional Theory was created after an in-depth meta-analysis of the last 100 years of psychological literature and its cross-reference with the most recent discoveries in the fields of neurobiology, social psychology, and the field of psychometrics. Here is an extensive reference list:

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Psychological Profiling – Explained

WARNING: Understanding psychological profiling and undergoing the process yourself could completely change your life!

Psychological profiling is the process of in-depth analysis of a person’s deep psychological characteristics that are responsible for their overall behaviors, choices, and words. In simple terms, information about these characteristics provides clarity on how and why a person is likely to behave in the future, as well as the reasons behind their past actions.

Now, you might be wondering about the specific characteristics involved in psychological profiling.

Different profiling methodologies examine and assess various types of characteristics.

However, below is a comprehensive list of potential characteristics with psychological relevance that can be examined and assessed.

If you are considering undergoing such a process, it is advisable to find a methodology that assesses as many of these characteristics as possible:

Psychological needs (deep subconscious drives)
Susceptibility to different emotions (emotional mechanisms)
Typical patterns of thinking (intellectual mechanisms)
Physiological predispositions with psychological significance (physical givens relevant to psychological needs)
Levels of interpersonal sensitivity and interpersonal tendencies (interpersonal emotionality)
Social skills and group mechanisms (social mechanisms)
Adaptive habits (typical behaviors)
Maladaptive (toxic) behaviors (typical problematic behaviors)
Core values (beliefs, attitudes, preferences, prejudices/biases)
The combination of these characteristics forms what is commonly referred to as human nature. Understanding this concept leads us to the question: So what? Any knowledge is meaningful only if it can be used in real life. The value of understanding others and ourselves lies in the practical application of this knowledge.

Here is a list of potential areas of life that can be better understood and improved through psychological profiling:

Needs Satisfaction & Psychological Health: Psychological profiling provides a clear picture of an individual’s basic psychological needs and identifies barriers preventing the fulfillment of those needs. It also sheds light on the predisposition to psychological disorders and suggests preventive measures.
Protection: Profiling reveals major risks to an individual’s physical safety, public reputation, and personal image.
Physical Health & Well-Being: Profiling offers clarity on the health risks associated with a person’s typical behaviors and potential health issues they may face.
Dealing with Stress: Profiling identifies hidden stress sources and equips individuals with the skills to develop appropriate coping mechanisms, timely identification of stressful situations, and overall stress avoidance.
Personal Development: Profiling helps identify strengths, weaknesses, and areas where a person may possess talent, facilitating personal growth and saving time by focusing on specific areas.
Hobbies, Fun & Pleasure: Profiling identifies the areas of life that bring maximum pleasure and joy, enabling individuals to live life to the fullest.
Having a Successful Career: Profiling sheds light on personal characteristics that may hinder career and business growth. It helps individuals aim for the right career path based on their profile.
Money & Wealth: Profiling reveals subconscious tendencies and behaviors that may hinder wealth accumulation, allowing individuals to address those issues.
Relationships: Profiling helps unravel the reasons behind difficulties in finding a partner, building relationships, and creating functional families. It assists individuals in identifying potential partners and improving current relationships. It answers the question, “Why are things not going well?”
Parenthood: Profiling provides insight into the influence one has over their children, how their imperfections affect their children, and suggests ways to improve parenting skills. It answers questions like “Why do my children act the way they do, and why don’t they listen?” It also brings clarity to the question, “What do they need?” (even if they are not profiled).
Getting Recognition and Social Status: Profiling helps understand why one may not receive the recognition and respect they deserve. It also suggests actions to improve their situation.
Making Rational Decisions: Profiling helps identify subconscious biases, irrationalities, and mental distortions that hinder rational thinking. It enhances awareness of emotional influences and develops emotional intelligence.
Improving Efficiency: Profiling reveals how a person’s energy is wasted and suggests ways to optimize the use of energy, time, resources, and social contacts.
Social Contacts: Profiling provides an in-depth understanding of social mechanisms at play during interactions with others. It addresses the question, “Why do some people dislike me?” It offers insights into forming relationships with the right people based on an individual’s profile and suggests areas of improvement for more enjoyable socialization.
Gaining Power: Psychological profiling sheds light on why individuals struggle to influence others and gain control over processes. It enables individuals to understand what it takes to achieve goals through others or as a group. It also helps identify how others might influence and manipulate them, thus enabling self-protection.
Helping Others: Profiling brings clarity to the reasons why people sometimes fail to appreciate our help. It provides guidance on how to provide effective help and seek assistance when needed.
Getting Accepted by Others and Receiving Fair Treatment: Profiling reveals problematic behaviors that may negatively impact how others perceive us. Our choices, words, and actions influence people’s opinions, which, in turn, have consequences for our lives and chances of success. Psychological profiling sheds light on how others perceive us and the negative social consequences that may arise.
Happiness: Lastly, profiling brings perfect clarity to the activities, circumstances, people, and things that bring happiness to individuals. It answers the question, “What is happiness for me?” based on their profile.

The knowledge gained through psychological profiling can be applied in various areas of life. Here are a few examples:

Couple’s therapy: Profiling can identify differences between partners as sources of relationship problems.
Individual therapy: Profiling helps identify the root causes of psychological issues in individuals.
Parenting support programs: Profiling assists parents in addressing parenting challenges.
Career consulting: Profiling identifies suitable career paths and developmental needs for individuals.
Leadership development: Profiling determines appropriate developmental programs for individuals in leadership positions.
Personnel selection: Profiling assesses whether a person is a good fit for a specific position or organization.
Reputation management programs: Profiling identifies critical weak points that may damage an individual’s reputation.
Criminal profiling: Profiling aids in identifying perpetrators of crimes.
These are just a few examples, and there are many other areas where psychological profiling can be beneficial.

Now that you have an understanding of what psychological profiling is, its benefits, and its potential applications, you might want to consider which areas of your life could benefit from such a process. Why not consider undergoing it yourself?

If the idea tempts you, we propose you contact our partners at PeopleFixer.com! They can offer you this service, in full – meaning analysis of the full list of the types of characteristics of your human nature mentioned at the beginning of the article:

Learn More about Psychological Profiling as a Service – Here

Психологическото Профилиране – Обяснено

Психологическото профилиране – обяснено:

Често ме питат какво всъщност е психологическото профилиране и как може да бъде полезно и приложимо в реалния живот.

Затова реших да разясня тези теми и да ги обясня по разбираем начин, позволявайки на всички да разпознаят потенциалната стойност в това, както и аз някога го направих.

За мен лично, това разбиране напълно промени живота ми!

Затова, ще карам по същество…

Психологическото профилиране е процесът на детайлен анализ на дълбинните характеристики на човек, които са отговорни за неговите поведения, избори и думи.

Опростено казано, информацията за тези характеристики осигурява яснота относно начина и причините за това как и защо един човек е склонен да се държи в бъдеще, както и причините зад неговите минали действия.

Това поражда въпрса – кои са конкретните характеристики, които са включени в психологическото профилиране?

Различните методологии за профилиране проучват и оценяват различни видове характеристики. Въпреки това, по-долу предлагам изчерпателен списък с потенциални характеристики с психологическо значение, които могат да бъдат изследвани и оценявани.

Ако обмисляте преминаването през подобен процес, препоръчително е да намерите методология, която оценява възможно най-много от тези характеристики:

Психологически потребности (дълбоки подсъзнателни мотиви)
Податливост към различните емоции (емоционални механизми)
Типични модели на мислене (интелектуални механизми)
Физиологични предразположения с психологическа значимост (физически дадености, свързани с психологическите потребности)
Нива на междуличностна чувствителност и междуличностни тенденции (междуличностна емоционалност)
Социални умения и групови механизми (социални механизми)
Адаптивни навици (типични поведения)
Маладаптивни (токсични) поведения (типични проблемни поведения)
Основни (водещи) ценности (вярвания, нагласи, предпочитания, предразсъдъци / предубеждения)

Комбинацията от тези характеристики образува това, което обикновено се нарича «човешка природа».

«И какво от това?» ще попитате…

Всяко знание има смисъл само ако може да бъде приложено в реалния живот.

СтойСмисъла на това да разбираме както другите, така и себе си в дълбочина, се крие във възможността за практическото приложение на това разбиране.

Ето списък с потенциалните области на живота, които могат да бъдат по-добре разбрани а оттам и подобрени след психологическо профилиране:

Удовлетворение на потребностите и психичното здраве: Психологическото профилиране осигурява ясна представа за основните психологически нужди на човек и идентифицира пречките пред тяхното задоволяване. Също така разкрива предразположението към психологически разстройства и често предлага потенциални превантивни мерки.
Защита и Сигурност: Профилирането разкрива големите рискове за физическата безопасност на човека, както и за обществената му репутация, идващи от обкръжаващия го свят.
Физическо здраве и благополучие: Профилирането предлага яснота относно здравословните рискове, свързани с типичните поведения на човека и потенциални здравословни проблеми, с които може да се сблъска, заради тях.
Справяне със стреса: Профилирането идентифицира скритите източници на стрес и осигурява на човека умения за развитие на подходящи механизми за справяне, своевременно идентифициране на стресови ситуации и дава възможността за цялостно избягване на стреса.
Лично развитие: Профилирането помага за идентифициране на силните и слабите страни на човека, както и областите, в които човек може да притежава истински талант, като улеснява личния растеж и спестява време, фокусирайки човека върху конкретни области за потенциално развитие.
Хобита, забавления и удоволствия: Профилирането идентифицира областите от живота, които носят потенциала за максимално удоволствие и радост, позволявайки на хората да живеят живота си «с пълни шепи».
Успешна кариера: Профилирането осветлява личните характеристики, които могат да пречат на израстването на човека в кариерата и бизнеса. То помага на хората да се насочат към правилния професионален път въз основа на техния профил.
Пари и богатство: Профилирането разкрива подсъзнателни тенденции и поведения, които могат да пречат на натрупването на средства, като позволява на хората да се справят с тези проблеми и да излязат от нищетата или да постигнатжеланите финансови върхове.
Взаимоотношения: Профилирането помага да се разгадаят причините зад затрудненията при намирането на партньор, изграждането на интимни взаимоотношения и създаването на функционални семейства. То помага на хората да идентифицират правилните за тях потенциални партньори и да подобрят настоящите си взаимоотношения. То отговаря на въпроса: “Защо не вървят нещата добре?”
Родителство: Профилирането осигурява представа за влиянието, което имаме върху децата си, как нашите недостатъци се отразяват на възпитанието, което им даваме. Също така, предлага начини за подобряване на уменията ни като родители.
Набавяне на признание и социален статус: Профилирането помага на човека да разбере защо не получава признанието и уважението, които смята, че заслужава. В допълнение, дава добри насоки за това, какво човекът би могъл да направи по въпроса.
Вземане на рационали решения: Профилирането помага да се идентифицират подсъзнателните предразсъдъци, ирационалностите и менталните изкривявания, които затрудняват рационалното мислене. То увеличава осведомеността за емоционалните влияния и развива емоционалната интелигентност. Спомага поставянето на правилните (за човека) дългосрочни цели.
Подобряване на ефективността: Профилирането разкрива как човек най-често прахосва усилията си и предлага начини за оптимизиране на използването на енергия, време, ресурси и социални контакти.
Социални контакти: Профилирането предоставя задълбочено разбиране за социалните механизми, които действат по време на взаимодействието на човека с другите хора. То отговаря на въпроса “Защо някои хора не ме харесват?” и предлага насоки за това с какви хора да изграждаме взаимоотношения, за да са «правилните» за нас (въз основа на профила ни).
Набавяне на всласт: Психологическото профилиране осветлява причините за затрудненията на хората да влияят на другите и да придобиват контрол над процесите. То позволява на човека да разбере какво е необходимо, за да постигне целите си чрез другите или в група. Също така помага да се идентифицира как другите могат да влияят и манипулират човека, като му позволява да се защити.
Да помагаме на другите: Профилирането осветлява причините за това, защо понякога хората не ценят нашата помощ. То предоставя насоки за това как да оказваме ефективна помощ, така че да бъдем истински полезни и това да бъде осценено от другите. Също така и как да потърсим помощ, когато е необходимо.
Да бъдем приемани и да получаваме честно отношение: Профилирането разкрива проблематични поведения, които могат да влияят отрицателно на начина, по който ни възприемат другите. Нашите избори, думи и действия влияят на мнението на хората, което има последици за нашия живот и шансовете ни за успех. Психологическото профилиране осветлява начина, по който ни възприемат другите и негативните социални последствия, които могат да възникнат, вследствие на репутацията, която изграждаме.
Набавяне на Щастие: Не на последно място, профилирането осигурява пълна яснота относно дейностите, обстоятелствата, хората и нещата, които носят щастие на конкретния човек. То отговаря на въпроса “Какво е щастието за мен?” въз основа на неговия профил.

Това са само някои от областите, в които психологическото профилиране може да има приложение и да допринесе за постигането на по-балансиран, успешен, удовлетворителен и щастлив живот. Разбирането за нашите психологически характеристики и работата с тях може да има силно въздействие върху нашата личност и жизнен път.

Знанията, придобити чрез психологическото профилиране, могат да бъдат приложени в различни сфери на живота.

Ето някои примери:

Семейна терапия: Профилирането може да идентифицира различията между партньорите, като източник на проблемите във взаимоотношенията.
Индивидуална терапия: Профилирането помага да се идентифицират истинските причини за психологически проблеми при отделния човек.
Програми за подкрепа на родителството: Профилирането помага на родителите да се справят с предизвикателствата на родителството.
Кариерно консултиране: Профилирането показва подходящи професионални сфери (за конкретнич воек) и нуждите от развитие, които отделния човек има, за да преследва идентифицираните кариерни възможности.
Развитие на лидерството: Профилирането осветлява подходящи програми за развитие на уменията на хора в лидерски позиции.
Подбор на персонал: Профилирането спомага процеса на оценка за това дали дадено лице е подходящо за конкретна позиция и/или организация.
Програми за управление на репутацията: Профилирането определя критичните слаби места, които могат да навредят на репутацията на дадено лице.
Криминално профилиране (на престъпници): Профилирането помага при идентифицирането на извършителите на престъпления, както и предвиждането на бъдещи престъпления.

Това са само някои от примерите, а възможностите за приложение на психологическото профилиране са многобройни.

Сега, когато имате представа какво представлява психологическото профилиране, неговите ползи и потенциални приложения, може да се запитате в кои области на вашия живот този процес би могъл да бъде полезен, както и дали не бихте искали самите вие да преминете през него…

Ако идеята ви блазни, можем да ви предложим тази услуга, в пълния и размер (разбирайте – анализ на пълния списък от споменатите в началото на статията типове характеристики на вашата човешка природа).

Научете повече оттук!

GETTING ALONG & TAKING CARE

HAVE YOU EVER FELT FEAR…

Have you ever felt fear for someone, or that you won’t be able to help them and take care of them?

Do you want no never feel so helpless again?

If so, this chapter is for you!

I invite you to explore it and get all the answers you could possibly need on the topic…

Niki Markov

Author, The Socio-Functional Theory

GETTING ALONG & TAKING CARE

The Socio-Functional Definition: Ability to act in ways that are useful, pleasurable, productive, caring, beneficial, and overall positive for another person.

Highlights of the chapter:

The Problems with getting along and caring for others
Imagine that – A short story explains it all
The explanation – Everything starts with the need.
How does human nature deal with this need – “Interpersonal Sensitivity” as a trait of human nature.
What do religions have to say about it?
How does science explain it?
The reason for the identified problems.
What does all of this mean for the 5 major areas of life…
– Intimacy & Relationships
– Parenting
– Health & Well-Being
– Career, Business & Leadership
– Social contacts & Reputation
What can we do to actually get along and take care?
The challenge – the most important question about yourself
My promise to you
The solution – What psychological profiling could tell you about yourself, that you don’t already know?

This chapter is available also in different languages:

Bulgarian

The Problems:

First, we need to want to help and take care of someone
Then we need to be able to give our unsolicited help, which often is unappreciated
Our efforts, no matter how good and noble are, provoke irritation and sometimes even anger in the receiver, which leads to rejection.

Imagine that…

Imagine you’re sitting with a friend who’s struggling with a difficult decision. They’re torn between two options and don’t know which way to go. As a true friend, you want to help. But before you jump in with your advice, you stop and think. You remember a time when someone tried to help you, but their advice was based on their own values and goals, not yours. It didn’t feel right, and it didn’t help. Even worce – it irritated you…

So, whe similar situation presents itself, instead of rushing in with your own ideas, you take a deep breath and ask your friend what their underlying goals and motives are in this situation. You listen as they share their hopes and fears, their wants and needs. You see the situation from their perspective and understand what’s truly important to them.

Only after that, and with this newfound understanding, you’ll able to offer help that’s tailored to your friend’s specific needs. You support them in a way that feels right, in a way that moves them closer to their goals. Moreover,a way that does not face all of their barriers.

In that moment, you’re not just a helpful friend. You’re a caring friend who truly understands what it means to help someone in a way that makes a difference.

Everything starts with the need

As we already know from the Socio-Functional Theory, everything starts with our deep psychological needs. In this case, it is the need to move towards some goal in the future, that brings us closer to satisfying our needs…

Need for success and achievement: Our ability to process information, combined with that of interacting instrumentally with the surrounding world and people, combined with our ability to see interconnections between the past, the present, and the future, leads to another interesting phenomenon. We are able to anticipate potential outcomes that would improve our ability to satisfy our needs. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to help us achieve these results in the future and thus improve our ability to satisfy our needs. We call this group of mechanisms “Goal-orientedness”

In addition to that, since people are part of our surrounding world, we often can’t stay unconcerned about their feelings and the way they express them. Indirectly, since their feelings (as anyone else’s) are a consequence of their needs, this leads to us, being engaged in their needs.

This interrelation is directly connected to another one of our needs:

Need to get along with other people and help them: … In order to get support in the process of satisfying our needs, we have to position ourselves as high as we can in the social hierarchy. But this, in itself, is a problem as it leads to intra-group competition. It is, however, detrimental to the group itself and would lead to its collapse, as each member of the group would pursue his own interest. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms that would allow us to navigate on a purely intuitive level about what – in relationships with other people – is good for our needs and what is bad, both for our personal needs and for those of others. Through these mechanisms, we acquire the ability to identify the needs of others and match our own with theirs in an adaptive way. We even get an incentive to help other people in the process of meeting their needs. Without these mechanisms, groups would simply not exist and people could not coexist together, let alone continue the species. We call this group of mechanisms “Interpersonal Sensitivity”.

Those two needs combined, lead to the phenomenon of us interpreting on a deep subconscious level those needs of others as our goals and therefore becoming driven, motivated, and sometimes even filled with enthusiasm about achieving those goals, which indirectly manifests as helpfulness and care towards them.

That said, it becomes clear, that there is an intersection between the two mentioned groups of mechanisms (Goal-orientedness & Interpersonal Sensitivity).

This intersection is actually a specific trait of human nature, that we call “Helpfulness”.

In case you wonder how a trait of human nature could be an intersection – it’s simple – that trait serves both needs.

So what actually is Helpfulness & Caring as a trait?

… and since often people need both – Science and Religion, to make sense of and accept something…

What religions have to say about that…

Christianity: “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” – Philippians 2:4

Islam: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” (Hadith Sahih Bukhari)

Judaism: “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.” – Proverbs 3:27

Hinduism: The Hindu teaching of “Seva,” which emphasizes the importance of serving others and helping them to achieve their goals.

Buddhism: The Buddhist principle of “Maitri,” or loving-friendliness, which involves extending warmth, kindness, and support to others, and the concept of “Karuna,” or compassion, which involves helping others to overcome their difficulties.

Sikhism: “The one who serves and helps others is closest to God.” – Guru Granth Sahib

Baha’i Faith: The Baha’i teaching of “Prosperity in Abundance,” which involves using one’s resources to promote the well-being of others and helping them to achieve their goals, and the principle of “Unity in Diversity,” which involves embracing and supporting the diversity of all people and helping them to achieve their goals.

How does science explain it?

When a person sees another person in need of help, the following neurobiological processes occur:

1. Perception: The information about the person in need is processed in the different centers in the brain responsible for each sense (for ex. the visual cortex located at the back of the brain, for visual perception) (Tanaka & Saito, 1989).

2. Emotional Processing: Once received, The information is then sent to the amygdala, which is responsible for processing emotional information and determining whether the situation is a threat or not (LeDoux, 1996). If the situation is perceived as non-threatening, the amygdala sends signals to other brain regions, including the insula and the somatosensory cortex, to generate an emotional response, such as empathy (Singer & Lamm, 2009). The insula is involved in the subjective experience of emotions and the somatosensory cortex processes sensory information from the body (Craig, 2002). This information integration leads to the experience of empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. (Please note that Empathy is a combination of multiple constructs including helpfulness, compassion and perspective change and for each of which we will dedicate a separate chapter).

3. Social Cognitive Processing: The information is then processed in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), which is involved in social cognition and decision-making (Ochsner et al., 2002). The ACC integrates information about the other person’s distress, past experiences, cultural norms, and personal values to determine the appropriate response.

4. Motivational Processing: The ACC sends signals to the hypothalamus and the ventral striatum, which are involved in the regulation of motivation and reward (Hollerman & Schultz, 1998). The release of dopamine in these regions can increase the feeling of reward associated with helping others, reinforcing the behavior.

5. Action: Finally, the motor cortex receives signals from other brain regions and generates the appropriate response, such as offering help or support. (Unless for some reason, we suppress our impulse for action, due to the mechanism of self-control).
To fully understand the process of helping and caring, we should note that the above is a simplification of a complex process and that many other brain regions and neurotransmitters, such as Serotonin and Oxytocin, also play a role in the regulation of helping behavior (Baumgartner et al., 2008; Kosfeld et al., 2005).

References:

• Baumgartner, T., Heinrichs, M., Vonlanthen, A., Fischbacher, U., & Fehr, E. (2008). Oxytocin shapes the neural circuitry of trust and trust adaptation in humans. Neuron, 58(4), 639-650.
• Craig, A. D. (2002). How do you feel? Interoception: the sense of the physiological condition of the body. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 3(8), 655-666.
• Anderson, A. K., & Phelps, E. A. (2001). Lesions of the human amygdala impair enhanced perception of emotionally salient events. Nature, 411(6835), 305-309.
• Singer, T., Seymour, B., O’Doherty, J., Kaube, H., Dolan, R. J., & Frith, C. D. (2004). Empathy for pain involves the affective but not sensory components of pain. Science, 303(5661), 1157-1162.
• Hollerman, J. R., & Schultz, W. (1998). Dopamine neurons report an error in the temporal prediction of reward during learning. Nature Neuroscience, 1(2), 304-309.
• Kosfeld, M., Heinrichs, M., Zak, P. J., Fischbacher, U., & Fehr, E. (2005). Oxytocin increases trust in humans. Nature, 435(7042), 673-676.
• LeDoux, J. (1996). The emotional brain: The mysterious underpinnings of emotional life. Simon and Schuster.
• Ochsner, K. N., Knierim, K., Ludlow, D. H., Hanelin, J., Ramachandran, T., Glover, G., & Mackey, S. (2002). Reflecting upon feelings: An fMRI study of neural systems supporting the attribution of emotion to self and other. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 14(3), 617-630.

Now back to the problems from the beginning:

Our journey started with the identification of the 3 main problems with helping and caring. (1) Wanting to help, 2) Providing unsolicited help, and 3) Provoking pushback)

At the same time, as you might already notice, the trait of human nature, which we examined (Helpfulness), on its own is not able to solve all three problems. It actually addresses only the second one – Providing unsolicited help.

Meaning, that the mentioned trait is responsible only for the proactive helping part, but does not include the willingness part and the ability to actually understand the real needs and goals of the other person.

For those two problems, human nature has 2 different mechanisms:

The value of “Althruism” (which gives us information about the degree to which a person believes that helping is good, desirable, important, and preferable)
The trait “Perspective change” (which provides us information about the ability of the person to “put himself in the other person’s shoes”

Both of those mechanisms are object of separate chapters, but for now, we need to understand, that without them, our efforts for helping the right way will almost certainly be in vain. and one or more of the mentioned problems will often occur.

(P.S. To fully understand all what’s needed for proper help and care, please take time to visit the chapters dedicated to the two mentioned mechanisms above)

Helpfulness as a personality trait:

It reflects a person’s tendency to feel an impulse to help people and the degree to which is willing to try to be helpful. It is about doing the fist thing we feel would be helpful for the situation.

Low Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Strengths:

Do not waste time on other people’s problems and needs;
Are effective in the context of pursuing their own goals, without distracting themselves by spending time for others;

Weaknesses:

Perceived as cold;
Suffer lower chances of getting help since are known for not providing such (the reciprocity and fairness factor);

High Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Strengths:

Concerned about other people;
Always ready to “come to the rescue” and “lend a hand”;
Dear friends and colleagues;

Weaknesses:

Often waste too much time and resources to help other people;
Neglect their own goals, in the name of other people;
Susceptible to manipulations in the name of other people’s interests and needs;

What does all of this mean for the 6 major areas of life…



INTIMACY & RELATIONSHIPS

Low Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Strengths:

Do not waste time on other people’s problems and needs;
Are effective in the context of pursuing their own goals, without distracting themselves by spending time for others;

Weaknesses:

Perceived as cold;
Suffer lower chances of getting help since are known for not providing such (the reciprocity and fairness factor);

High Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Strengths:

Concerned about other people;
Always ready to “come to the rescue” and “lend a hand”;
Dear friends and colleagues;

Weaknesses:

Often waste too much time and resources to help other people;
Neglect their own goals, in the name of other people;
Susceptible to manipulations in the name of other people’s interests and needs;



PARENTING

Low Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Strengths:

Do not waste time on other people’s problems and needs;
Are effective in the context of pursuing their own goals, without distracting themselves by spending time for others;

Weaknesses:

Perceived as cold;
Suffer lower chances of getting help since are known for not providing such (the reciprocity and fairness factor);

High Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Strengths:

Concerned about other people;
Always ready to “come to the rescue” and “lend a hand”;
Dear friends and colleagues;

Weaknesses:

Often waste too much time and resources to help other people;
Neglect their own goals, in the name of other people;
Susceptible to manipulations in the name of other people’s interests and needs;



HEALTH & WELL-BEING

Low Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Strengths:

Do not waste time on other people’s problems and needs;
Are effective in the context of pursuing their own goals, without distracting themselves by spending time for others;

Weaknesses:

Perceived as cold;
Suffer lower chances of getting help since are known for not providing such (the reciprocity and fairness factor);

High Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Strengths:

Concerned about other people;
Always ready to “come to the rescue” and “lend a hand”;
Dear friends and colleagues;

Weaknesses:

Often waste too much time and resources to help other people;
Neglect their own goals, in the name of other people;
Susceptible to manipulations in the name of other people’s interests and needs;



CAREER, BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP

Low Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Strengths:

Do not waste time on other people’s problems and needs;
Are effective in the context of pursuing their own goals, without distracting themselves by spending time for others;

Weaknesses:

Perceived as cold;
Suffer lower chances of getting help since are known for not providing such (the reciprocity and fairness factor);

High Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Strengths:

Concerned about other people;
Always ready to “come to the rescue” and “lend a hand”;
Dear friends and colleagues;

Weaknesses:

Often waste too much time and resources to help other people;
Neglect their own goals, in the name of other people;
Susceptible to manipulations in the name of other people’s interests and needs;



SOCIAL CONTACTS & REPUTATION

Low Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Strengths:

Do not waste time on other people’s problems and needs;
Are effective in the context of pursuing their own goals, without distracting themselves by spending time for others;

Weaknesses:

Perceived as cold;
Suffer lower chances of getting help since are known for not providing such (the reciprocity and fairness factor);

High Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Strengths:

Concerned about other people;
Always ready to “come to the rescue” and “lend a hand”;
Dear friends and colleagues;

Weaknesses:

Often waste too much time and resources to help other people;
Neglect their own goals, in the name of other people;
Susceptible to manipulations in the name of other people’s interests and needs;



PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Low Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Strengths:

Do not waste time on other people’s problems and needs;
Are effective in the context of pursuing their own goals, without distracting themselves by spending time for others;

Weaknesses:

Perceived as cold;
Suffer lower chances of getting help since are known for not providing such (the reciprocity and fairness factor);

High Scorers:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Strengths:

Concerned about other people;
Always ready to “come to the rescue” and “lend a hand”;
Dear friends and colleagues;

Weaknesses:

Often waste too much time and resources to help other people;
Neglect their own goals, in the name of other people;
Susceptible to manipulations in the name of other people’s interests and needs;

Now, on the part of the solution…

(What to do to properly help and care in the context of all the above)

Regarding their need for Authenticity – Accept them as they are, try to put them in circumstances that support their strengths and values;

Regarding their need to Feel – Try to touch their emotions while interacting with them. Be more expressive and showcase emotions in the conversation;

Regarding their need for Rationality – Let them think for themselves, don’t convince them;

Regarding their need for Freedom – Do not impose on them anything and don’t get in their way of the gratification pursuit. Give them opportunities and choices;

Regarding their need for Security – Inform them of the potential risks; What would be the consequences, and what would they mess up or miss if not careful. Showcase to them what negative outcome would be their responsibility if occurs because of the specific context;

Regarding their need for good Health – Remove anything unpleasant and toxic between you two, and apologize for any past inconveniences you might have caused;

Regarding their need for Predictability – Share your vision about the future, Explain what challenges you foresee in that future, preparing them for what’s to come and what would be needed to deal with that future in your opinion.

Regarding their need for Stimulation – Stimulate their imagination, offer them the opportunity for variety and thrills, challenge them, and show them new perspectives and possibilities;

Regarding their need to Understand – Provide all the objective information you have, truthfully. Explain and articulate things in the most simple way possible, and in their language. Ask them if they could maybe want to repeat it in their own words, and correct them non-judgmentally if needed.

Regarding their need for Pleasure – Offer them a sensual pleasure for all of the six senses (smell, touch, hearing, taste, visuals, and internal sensations). Be a positive, funny, entertaining, and unburdening company for them; Engage them in joyful activities;

Regarding their need for Achievement – Identify what they value and are aiming at, and offer your help only for that;

Regarding their need for Resources – Ask them if they are interested to find out ways how you are able to save more, earn more, and spend less. (in terms of resources – whatever those might be) And provide this info only if they are truly interested;

Regarding their need for Intimacy – Be there for them. Just listen. Ask them about their feelings, fears, and aspirations. Provide a compassionate, non-judgmental year.

Regarding their need for Status & Recognition – Uplift, encourage, and praise them for what they are. Share what you admire about them;

Regarding their need for Energy – Offer to take off as much of their load as possible for you. Offer to substitute them for some of their duties. Offer to save them time and energy in any way possible, but do all those things only for things that you are able to execute at least as well and efficiently as them.

Regarding their need to Deal with the Physical world – Showcase to them what tools you use and know of, for similar cases, situations & challenges;

Regarding their need to Relate and Deal with others – Be honest, share how you feel about them, open up about your fears and desires, and goals in front of them;

Regarding their need to Socialize – Introduce them to others, and let them decide whom to keep and whom to let go. Accept how they feel and act toward other people.

Regarding their need to be Accepted – Be open and non-judgmental about their ways of doing things, but give them objective, non-shaming or blaming feedback for how usually things are done (how you and others do those)

Regarding their need to Take care of themselves despite others – Always be fair to them. Accept that they do whatever they do because of them, not because of you. Give them objective, non-shaming, or blaming feedback for how you feel about their behaviors, and how those hurt you.

The Challenge

If you are convinced that getting along and caring is worth trying, spend 15-20 minutes visualizing how will it look for you to get along and care for a specific person – someone important to you…

Use the mentioned above ways and just visualize how will you look doing them for that person, and how will you feel while doing it.

Try to imagine yourself as vividly as possible – caring for that person, going through each of the needs mentioned above.

MY PROMISE TO YOU:

if you decide to take on this challenge, I promise you, you will not regret it and it will improve dramatically your connection with that person!

In case you are wondering how good you actually are with getting along and caring in real life…

Knowing oneself is probably one of the most important tasks one has in this life!

And there are only two ways of achieving this…

Through a lifetime of introspection and self-analysis or…
Through the process of psychological profiling, which will shed light on your deep psychological characteristics, some of which we discussed in this chapter.

Don’t want to wait for a lifetime?

Learn More about the Psychological Profiling

← Благодарност VS Самодостатъчност

Благодарност VS Самодостатъчност

Тази статия е налична на различни езици / This article is available in different languages:

English

Благодарност VS Самодостатъчност

Ключови моменти:

- - Проблемът: Защо хората не оценяват това, което правим за тях?
  - Какво е благодарността и за какво ни служи?
  - Проявления на и информацията, която ни носи.
  - Какви са проявленията на ниските и съответно високите нива на благодарността, като черта от човешката природа.
  - Проблемите при двете крайности във всяка от 5-те основни сфери от живота.
  - Разбирайки проблемите, какво можем да направим?
  - Библиография, източници и ресурси за допълнително информация

ПРОБЛЕМЪТ:

Защо хората не оценяват това, което правим за тях?

В ежедневието ни се случва да правим неща за другите хора, а в замяна често изглежда, сякаш не получаваме необходимото признание и благодарност.

По-интересното е, че това явление се наблюдава, независимо дали говорим за роднини, близки приятели, далечни познати или тотални странници от улицата, за които сме направили някакъв малък жест.

Това макар и често безобидно явление, може да бъде изключително изнервящо. Не само това, но то носи потенциала да ни отдалечи от близките хора или да създаде у нас негативно впечатление за непознатите.

За да намалим тези негативни ефекти, следва да започнем с разбирането на явлението и причините за съществуването му…

ВСИЧКО ЗАПОЧВА С ПОТРЕБНОСТТА

Какво е благодарността и за какво ни служи?

Благодарността е социална емоция. С други думи я изпитваме към друго живо същество (човек или животно).

Както всяка емоция, така и благодарността служи на конкретна потребност.

Конкретната потребност, на която благодарността служи е потребността да се задвижваме към различни цели в бъдещето.

Както всички емоции, така и благодарността се появява вследствие на нещо случило се извън или вътре в нас.

В конкретния случай с благодарността – започваме да я изпитваме, когато някой друг е направил нещо, с което ни е помогнал да се приближим или да постигнем наша осъзната цел.

Обърнете внимание на думичката “осъзната” в горното изречение…

Именно тук се крие голяма част от проблематиката с благодарността, или по-конкретно с липсата й.

Много често, правим жестове и помагаме на хората, за неща, които ние ценим и определяме като желани цели, важни, смислени и полезни за другия.

Това обаче съвсем не значи, че тези неща, са такива за другите хора. Или с други думи, хората може да имат съвсем различни цели и поради тази причина да не отдават необходимата значимост на направеното от нас.

Това от своя страна, често ги кара да реагират по начини, обрисуващи ги като неблагодарни, а понякога дори като егоисти в нашите очи.

Затова е важно да можем да се поставим на тяхното място.

За да може да постига целите си, човек, трябва да вярва, че те са постижими и по-конкретно – постижими за него. Това означава, този човек да приема, че отговорността за това да постигне целите си е изцяло негова и че всякакви външни влияния са маловажни в контекста на целите му, в сравнение с неговия личен принос. В тази си увереност, той приемаа, че има всичко необходимо, за да постигне целта, или ако го няма – знае и може да си го набави, с ясното съзнание, че си зависи изцяло от него. В тази връзка, липсата на благодарност всъщност не е равнозначна на неблагодарност, а е следствие изместване на фокуса далеч от чуждия принос, а по-скоро към собствените усилия. По този начин, той започва да изглежда в очите на околните, като неблагодарен (когато получи непоискана помощ).

Благодарността и нейното изразяване обаче, има няколко важни про-социални функции:

Стимулира бъдещото желание на хората да си помагат отново;
Сплотява групата и стимулира кооперативността в нея, тъй като способства реципрочността между хората (склонността да връщат услугата, когато някой направи добро за тях)
Засилва способността на хората да виждат положителното у другите, което ги стимулира да искат повече бъдещи интеракции с тях, като по този начин Засилва връзката и подобрява взаимоотношенията между хората.

Това автоматично я прави важен механизъм за справяне с предизвикателствата.

Разглеждайки благодарността като такъв механизъм, автоматично означава, че гледаме на нея като на черта от човешката природа. И като всяка подобна черта, и благодарността има различни степени на проявление в отделните хора. Едни хора са по-склонни да изпитват и изразяват благодарност, от други.

Можем да мислим за силата на проявление на тази черта, като визуализация по скала от 1% до 100%:

И тъй като както казахме по-горе, всъщност не става дума за неблагодарност, а по-скоро за нещо, което се изживява от човека като самодостатъчност в контекста на постигането на целите, то при разглеждането на резултатите по скалата за тази черта, приемаме, че колкото по-близък е резултатът на индивида до 1%, толкова благодарен изглежда той за околните.

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

И обратното – колкото по-близо е до 100%, толкова самодостатъчен ще бъде той:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Хората, които имат средни резултати, са част от „нормата“ (по-голямата част от хората) и следователно имат балансирана комбинация от проявленията, изброени по-долу:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Какви са проявленията на ниските и високите нива ПО СКАЛАТА “Благодарност – САМОДОСТАТЪЧНОСТ”?

Каква информация ни носи за човека, като черта от неговата човешка природа?

НИСКИ нива = БЛАГОДАРНОСТ

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Хората с НИСКИ резултати по скалата Благодарност – Самодостатъчност, често са описвани от околните като:

Имат склонност да

ВИСОКИ нива = САМОДОСТАТЪЧНОСТ

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Хората с ВИСОКИ резултати по скалата Благодарност – Самодостатъчност често проявяват следните характеристики:

Способност за

Проблемите при двете крайности във всяка от 5-те основни сфери от живота:

Любов, Връзки, Интимност и Семейство:

In order for two people to build a well-working, long-lasting, loving relationship, they need to understand what love is, and what influences people’s ability to love.

From “The Socio-Functional Theory of Human Nature” we know, that Love is the bouquet of feelings, sensations, moods, emotions, thoughts, and actions that accompanies the relationship between two people when they:

Carry the “promise” of being able to take care of each other’s needs (either by actually taking care or by showcasing the potential ability to);
Have similarities with each other in leading values;
Are not too different in their ways of dealing with challenges;
Have shared emotional experiences;
Are understanding each other intellectually;
Are experiencing intimate attraction (when it comes to intimate love);

Understanding the above, whelp us identify potential problems between partners, originating from the differences in their human natures, or in this case – in their preferred mechanisms for adaptation to change:

Problems with the low scores:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Problems with Carrying the “promise” (or in other words – the ability to be liked): People with lower scores will be considered too narrow in their thinking, and as if they lack the needed “open-mindedness” for the frivolous and spontaneous nature – firstly for the initial “flirt game” and later on – for the constantly changing life. This often makes them look boring in others’ eyes. Their hesitancy in approaching challenges (including those of winning the partner) will be considered indecisiveness and lack of courage. Others often think of such people as self-underestimating which is very unattractive in the eyes of a potential partner. The typical tendency of people with lower scores to “consult” with others before making a decision is often considered a lack of opinion autonomy and even to some degree a dependency, which is usually a very unattractive thing to see in someone for an initial impression. Their tendency to correct others’ mistakes and wrong understandings predispose them to easily get into interpersonal tension and even conflict. Overall others often look at them as people “that are not made for success” and therefore not worth considering for potential partners.

Problems with lack of similarity in leading values (The ways they prioritize how to take care of the other): Will think others need structure and predictability the same way he/she does, which will lead to imposing unwanted rules and ways of doing things to his/her partner, claiming there is always “a right way” of doing things.

Problems with too many differences (focusing on the shortcomings of the potential partner): Tends to form an opinion in advance, build expectations for things, and will be too “judgy”, all of which eventually leads to disappointment, frustration, mental strain, and stress in the context of starting a new relationship.

Problems with gaining shared emotional experiences: Will need predictability and structure in their everyday life, which will take away the possibility of a spontaneous, adventurous life, since it will bring unacceptable amounts of stress.

Problems with the understanding of the partner: Will consider the signs of self-confidence of his/her partner as over-confidence and therefore as excessive risk. This will bring more insecurity to them and they will “lecture” their partners about it. This in turn, will be interpreted as a lack of faith in their partner’s abilities and will evoke irritation and frustration, and in time will lead to alienation and lack of will to “fight” for the relationship in challenging moments.

Problems with intimacy: Will be very opinionated about what’s acceptable and right in bed and what is not and wrong, which will lead to a more conservative and potentially more monotonous love life (from the perspective of a potentially more open-minded partner).

Problems with the HIGH scores:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

Problems with Carrying the “promise” (or in other words – the ability to be liked): Will be considered too messy, chaotic, and frivolous. Unpredictable and willing to change their opinion, therefore unreliable.

Problems with lack of similarity in leading values (The ways they prioritize how to take care of the other): Will not consider the specific ways others want their needs to be taken care of, since they possess the ability to be flexible and diverse in their approaches. Believing there is no single right way to do things, will lead to a direct conflict with their significant other and ultimately will mess up their ability to take care of them.

Problems with too many differences (focusing on the shortcomings of the potential partner): Tends to judge others as not open-minded enough and even narrow-minded, unable to see the nuances in life. Dismisses opinions of right and wrong as black-and-white thinking, which shows in their attitudes and behaviors toward others and thus alienates them.

Problems with gaining shared emotional experiences: Will need spontaneity and freedom for a flexible approach in their everyday life, which will take away the possibility of predictability, planning, and structure. This will take away all the frivolous stuff and variety that they enjoy so much and will make their everyday life feel mundane and boring.

Problems with understanding the partner: Will have problems understanding the reasons for what looks like low self-confidence in their partners, which will irritate them. In turn, their partners will feel “the heaviness” of their confidence, often interpreting it as though their partner looks down on them. This will bring their self-esteem even further down, leading to feelings of incapability and ultimately – unworthiness.

Problems with intimacy: Might be very adaptive to the needs of the partner in bed, which could leave a wrong feeling in others and be interpreted as a lack of identity in making love and an inability to lead the love game.

РАЗБИРАЙКИ ПРОБЛЕМИТЕ, КАКВО МОЖЕМ ДА НАПРАВИМ?



ПСИХОЛОГИЧЕСКО ПРОФИЛИРАНЕ

We recommend you (and your partner if you have one) undergo a process of in-depth psychological profiling so that you could:

Understand the exact manifestations of your human nature in the context of the mentioned mechanisms above
Find out about all of the other characteristics of your human nature and their manifestations.
Be able to aim at the right potential partner (if you are still searching) or understand how different you actually are from your current partner (analysis of potential fit/match).
Deal with the challenges (for yourself or with your partner if you have one) and improve your relationship.

Learn More



DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM

We recommend you (and your partner if you have one) to go through our personality development program, which will help you (both) to:

Improve your capabilities in the mentioned mechanisms above
Improve your relationship (if you are currently in one)
Become a better partner for your potential future loved one (in case you are still searching)
Gain knowledge and skills, customized to address all the problems above and many more.

Schedule a free Consultation

Spread the love and help more people to improve their love and intimate lives:

Bibliography, resources, and references with related information:

The Science of Gratitude & How to Build a Gratitude Practice | Huberman Lab Podcast #47
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). “Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life.” Emotion, 7(2), 281-288.
Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). “Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions.” American psychologist, 60(5), 410.
Watkins, P. C., Woodward, K., Stone, T., & Kolts, R. L. (2003). “Gratitude and happiness: Development of a measure of gratitude, and relationships with subjective well-being.” Social Behavior and Personality, 31(5), 431-452.
Algoe, S. B., & Haidt, J. (2009). “Witnessing excellence in action: The ‘other-praising’ emotions of elevation, gratitude, and admiration.” Journal of Positive Psychology, 4(2), 105-127.
Froh, J. J., Sefick, W. J., & Emmons, R. A. (2008). “Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being.” Journal of School Psychology, 46(2), 213-233.
Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. (2010). “Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration.” Clinical psychology review, 30(7), 890-905.
Lu, L., & Gilmour, R. (2011). “The effects of gratitude on emotional well-being: A meta-analysis.” Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 41(5), 1173-1191.
Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). “Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change.” Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131.
Kashdan, T. B., & Biswas-Diener, R. (2014). “Two traditions of well-being research, and the future of both.” The Journal of Positive Psychology, 9(1), 3-14.
Schutte, N. S., Malouff, J. M., Thorsteinsson, E. B., Bhullar, N., & Rooke, S. E. (2018). “A meta-analytic review of the effects of gratitude on well-being.” Journal of Positive Psychology, 13(5), 509-527.
Deutsch, M. (1949). “A theory of cooperation and competition.” Human Relations, 2(1), 129-152.
Sawyer, R. K. (2006). “The new science of collaboration.” Harvard Business Review, 84(11), 96-104.
Lewicki, R. J., & Tomlinson, E. C. (2018). “Trust and distrust in organizations: Emerging perspectives, unique challenges.” Annual Review of Psychology, 69, 489-516.
Bales, R. F. (1950). “Interaction process analysis: A method for the study of small groups.” Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley
Johnson, D. W., & Johnson, R. T. (1989). “Cooperation and competition: Theory and research.” Edina, MN: Interaction Book Company.

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