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Adaptability

by | Socio-Functional Applications in real life

 Highlights:

 

EVERYTHING STARTS WITH THE NEED

As we already know, everything starts with our deep psychological needs. In this case, it is the need for predictability.

Need for predictability: The only sure thing in this world is change. It is constantly happening, unpredictable, and brings with it challenges and risks. The more difficult it is for a person to adapt “on the fly” to changes, the greater the need for predictability and structure that person feels in order to more easily cope with the challenges that come with these changes. This gives rise to the need for a set of mechanisms to help us deal with change in one of two possible ways – either by improving our ability to adapt “on the fly” or by helping us to structure the world in such ways, so that it is less chaotic and more predictable for us. We call this group of mechanisms “Adaptability”.

So what exactly is adaptability?

Adaptability is the ability of the person to adjust to newly emerging situations and to the requirements of the new circumstances and change in general in such ways so that he has better chances for satisfying his needs.

What information does it provide about the person, as a trait of his human nature?

As a trait, adaptability refers to the degree to which a person is able to adjust to new situations, environments, and demands.

We can think of the “manifestations” of this trait visualized as a scale from 1% to 100%:

The closer the individual’s score is to 1%, the less adaptable the person is and the more structure and predictability he will need:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

Conversely, the closer it is to 100%, the more adaptable he is and the less structure and predictability he will need:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

People who have centered results are part of “the norm” (the majority of people) and therefore have a balanced combination of the manifestations listed below:

1% ——|—————-|——100%

What are the manifestations of the low and high levels of adaptability?

LOW scores of Adaptability

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

People with LOW scores on the scale Adaptability tend to:

  • Avoid taking unnecessary risks and thus rarely make unwise decisions;
  • Show a tendency to plan for potential outcomes in order to reduce the risk of the unknown;
  • Structure, arrange, and maintain the environment in a predictable state, in order to reduce the physical and intellectual load of the chaos;
  • Good at maintaining order, hierarchies, and the status quo;
  • Good at repetitive and uniform activities and requirements of uniformity from the environment;
  • Conforming to the rules, norms, social expectations, and morality overall;
  • Able to look at the world in terms of good and bad;

HIGH scores of Adaptability

1% ——|—————-|——100%

People with HIGH scores on the scale Adaptability tend to:

  • Able to make decisions and take actions more easily than others;
  • Able to inspire confidence in others since they are confident in their abilities and skill;
  • Spontaneous and autonomous, and are likely to improvise;
  • Able to adapt (purely physically) quickly, to the changing environment, “on the go”.
  • Have good coordination and are skillful (handy). Easily and quickly learn new physical skills and activities which gives them a good potential for sports;
  • Have a way with interpersonal relations and are able to deal with difficult people;
  • Able to navigate through complex, constantly changing circumstances with variable rules and demands;

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN IN THE CONTEXT OF LOVE, INTIMACY & RELATIONSHIPS?

In order for two people to build a well-working, long-lasting, loving relationship, they need to understand what love is, and what influences people’s ability to love.

From “The Socio-Functional Theory of Human Nature” we know, that Love is the bouquet of feelings, sensations, moods, emotions, thoughts, and actions that accompanies the relationship between two people when they:

  • Carry the “promise” of being able to take care of each other’s needs (either by actually taking care or by showcasing the potential ability to);
  • Have similarities with each other in leading values;
  • Are not too different in their ways of dealing with challenges;
  • Have shared emotional experiences;
  • Are understanding each other intellectually;
  • Are experiencing intimate attraction (when it comes to intimate love);

Understanding the above, whelp us identify potential problems between partners, originating from the differences in their human natures, or in this case – in their preferred mechanisms for adaptation to change:

 POTENTIAL PROBLEMS:

Problems with the low scores:

1% ——|—————-|—— 100%

  • Problems with Carrying the “promise” (or in other words – the ability to be liked): People with lower scores will be considered too narrow in their thinking, and as if they lack the needed “open-mindedness” for the frivolous and spontaneous nature – firstly for the initial “flirt game” and later on – for the constantly changing life. This often makes them look boring in others’ eyes. Their hesitancy in approaching challenges (including those of winning the partner) will be considered indecisiveness and lack of courage. Others often think of such people as self-underestimating which is very unattractive in the eyes of a potential partner. The typical tendency of people with lower scores to “consult” with others before making a decision is often considered a lack of opinion autonomy and even to some degree a dependency, which is usually a very unattractive thing to see in someone for an initial impression. Their tendency to correct others’ mistakes and wrong understandings predispose them to easily get into interpersonal tension and even conflict. Overall others often look at them as people “that are not made for success” and therefore not worth considering for potential partners.
  • Problems with lack of similarity in leading values (The ways they prioritize how to take care of the other): Will think others need structure and predictability the same way he/she does, which will lead to imposing unwanted rules and ways of doing things to his/her partner, claiming there is always “a right way” of doing things.
  • Problems with too many differences (focusing on the shortcomings of the potential partner): Tends to form an opinion in advance, build expectations for things, and will be too “judgy”, all of which eventually leads to disappointment, frustration, mental strain, and stress in the context of starting a new relationship.
  • Problems with gaining shared emotional experiences: Will need predictability and structure in their everyday life, which will take away the possibility of a spontaneous, adventurous life, since it will bring unacceptable amounts of stress.
  • Problems with the understanding of the partner: Will consider the signs of self-confidence of his/her partner as over-confidence and therefore as excessive risk. This will bring more insecurity to them and they will “lecture” their partners about it. This in turn, will be interpreted as a lack of faith in their partner’s abilities and will evoke irritation and frustration, and in time will lead to alienation and lack of will to “fight” for the relationship in challenging moments.
  • Problems with intimacy: Will be very opinionated about what’s acceptable and right in bed and what is not and wrong, which will lead to a more conservative and potentially more monotonous love life (from the perspective of a potentially more open-minded partner).

    Problems with the HIGH scores:

    1% ——|—————-|——100%

    • Problems with Carrying the “promise” (or in other words – the ability to be liked): Will be considered too messy, chaotic, and frivolous. Unpredictable and willing to change their opinion, therefore unreliable.
    • Problems with lack of similarity in leading values (The ways they prioritize how to take care of the other): Will not consider the specific ways others want their needs to be taken care of, since they possess the ability to be flexible and diverse in their approaches. Believing there is no single right way to do things, will lead to a direct conflict with their significant other and ultimately will mess up their ability to take care of them.
    • Problems with too many differences (focusing on the shortcomings of the potential partner): Tends to judge others as not open-minded enough and even narrow-minded, unable to see the nuances in life. Dismisses opinions of right and wrong as black-and-white thinking, which shows in their attitudes and behaviors toward others and thus alienates them. 
    • Problems with gaining shared emotional experiences: Will need spontaneity and freedom for a flexible approach in their everyday life, which will take away the possibility of predictability, planning, and structure. This will take away all the frivolous stuff and variety that they enjoy so much and will make their everyday life feel mundane and boring.
    • Problems with understanding the partner: Will have problems understanding the reasons for what looks like low self-confidence in their partners, which will irritate them.  In turn, their partners will feel “the heaviness” of their confidence, often interpreting it as though their partner looks down on them.  This will bring their self-esteem even further down, leading to feelings of incapability and ultimately – unworthiness.
    • Problems with intimacy: Might be very adaptive to the needs of the partner in bed, which could leave a wrong feeling in others and be interpreted as a lack of identity in making love and an inability to lead the love game.

     THE SUBSCALES

    Short descriptions, and the actual reason for compatibility problems (problematic situations, that may occur in the relationship between a person with low and one with high results in each sub-scales of adaptability):

    CONFIDENCE VS UNCERTAINTY

    The subscale reflects the degree to which the individual is confident in his ability to deal with challenges.

    In a relationship where one partner has low confidence and the other has high confidence, there can be a number of problems that arise as a result of their differences in this personality trait. Some potential issues include:

    • The high-confidence partner may inadvertently undermine the low-confidence partner by constantly questioning their decisions or abilities.
    • The low-confidence partner may feel insecure or inadequate in the relationship, leading to feelings of resentment or defensiveness.
    • The high-confidence partner may become frustrated with the low-confidence partner’s lack of confidence and try to “fix” them, which can be seen as controlling behavior.
    • The low-confidence partner may struggle to express their thoughts, feelings, or needs in the relationship, leading to a lack of communication and understanding.

    In terms of how these difficulties may manifest, it could be difficult for them to make decisions together as the low-confidence partner may be hesitant in expressing their opinion. The high-confidence partner may also take more control in the relationship and dominate the decision-making, This can lead to the low-confidence partner feeling powerless, resentful and unimportant in the relationship.

    AUTONOMY VS CONFORMITY

    The subscale reflects the degree of independence in dealing with challenges, that the individual experiences and demonstrates

    In a relationship where one partner has a high level of autonomy and the other has a high level of conformity, there can be a number of problems that arise as a result of their differences in this personality trait. Some potential issues include:

    • The high autonomy partner may feel frustrated or constrained by the high conformity partner’s need to follow the social norms.
    • The high conformity partner may feel pressure to be more independent and assertive, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
    • The high autonomy partner may become increasingly disengaged with the high conformity partner, who might feel unsupported in his desire to see how other people do things.
    • The high conformity partner may struggle to understand or relate to the high autonomy partner’s desire to do things on his own, leading to a lack of communication and understanding.

    In terms of how these difficulties may manifest, it could be difficult for them to make decisions together as the high autonomy partner may want more freedom and flexibility, while the high conformity partner may want to stick to established norms and conventions. They may also have different approaches towards risk-taking and experimentation which can lead to them disagreeing on how to make choices and plans. The high-autonomy partner may also see the high-conformity partner as too traditional or restrictive, while the high-conformity partner may see the high-autonomy partner as too rebellious or unpredictable.

    INTELLECTUAL PLASTICITY VS CONVENTIONALITY

    The subscale reflects the degree to which the individual is able to change his direction “on the go”, depending on the change in the circumstances

    In a relationship where one partner is more flexible in his thinking and the other is more conventional, there can be a number of problems that arise as a result of their differences in this personality trait. Some potential issues include:

    • The high intellectual plasticity partner may feel frustration or disappointment with the conventional partner’s lack of interest in new ideas or experiences.
    • The conventional partner may feel pressure to try new things or think differently, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
    • The high intellectual plasticity partner may become increasingly disengaged with the conventional partner, who might feel unsupported or unimportant.
    • The conventional partner may struggle to understand or relate to the high intellectual plasticity partner, leading to a lack of communication and understanding.

    In terms of potential manifestations, it could be difficult for them to find common ground or shared interests, leading to them feeling less connected, They may also disagree on a lot of things or have different opinions on how to do things, leading to a lot of arguments. They also may have different social circles as the high intellectual plasticity partner may prefer more challenging “out-of-the-box” conversations and activities, which the conventional partner may not be interested in because they seem strange, fuzzy, and sometimes too philosophical.

    SOCIAL ADAPTIVENESS VS SOCIAL PERSISTENCE

    The subscale reflects the degree to which the individual is able to navigate adaptively in social interactions in order to reach an understanding and agreement

    In a relationship where one partner is more socially adaptive than the other, there can be a number of problems that arise as a result of their differences in this personality trait. Some potential issues include:

    • The more socially adaptive partner may feel frustration or disappointment with the partner’s lack of social skills and difficulty in adjusting to new social situations.
    • The less adaptive partner may feel pressure to be more social and outgoing, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
    • The highly adaptive partner may feel pushed and pressured to hold more rigidly to their own ideas and opinions, leading to inadequacy and lack of understanding.
    • The less adaptive partner may feel frustrated by his better half’s willingness to compromise or change their perspective. Furthermore, he might feel frustrated by his partner’s tendency to (what looks like) avoiding or shying away from confrontation.

    In terms of how these difficulties may manifest, it could be difficult for them to navigate new social situations together, as the less adaptive partner may feel uncomfortable or anxious in unfamiliar or challenging social settings, while the highly adaptive one may be more at ease and even look for those. The highly adaptable partner may also become more critical of his partner’s social skills, which can lead to arguments, resentment, and defensiveness. They may also have different approaches towards socializing which can lead to them disagreeing on how to spend their free time, or how to interact with friends or family.

    MOTOR-SPATIAL ADAPTABILITY VS ORDERLINESS & PREPAREDNESS

    The subscale reflects the degree to which the individual is able to adapt physically to new or changing circumstances and navigate his body adaptively throughout environmental challenges

    In a relationship where one partner is physically adaptive and the other is orderly and prefers to prepare his physical surroundings, there can be a number of problems that arise as a result of their differences in this personality trait. Some potential issues include:

    • The high motor-spatial adaptability partner may feel frustration or disappointment with the partner’s lack of agility, coordination, or physical adaptability.
    • The orderly partner may feel pressure to keep up with his partner’s activities and sports interests, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
    • The highly adaptive partner may fail to prepare for the potential risks of the physical surroundings and circumstances, which might lead to opposition in the other partner because he will interpret this as a lack of foresight, care, enough tidiness, or organization.
    • The orderly partner may struggle to understand or relate to his partner, who is good at adapting anywhere with anything and thus is ok to live in chaotic environments, which in turn might lead to a lack of communication and distancing.

    In terms of how these difficulties may manifest, it could be difficult for them to find common ground or shared interests, leading to them feeling less connected. They may also have difficulties engaging in activities such as sports, dancing, or adventure activities, which might put the orderly partner at disadvantage. They may also have a different level of physical fitness, which might affect one partner’s self-confidence. It also could be difficult for them to keep the shared spaces tidy and organized as they may disagree on what constitutes tidy or organized.

    SPONTANEITY VS PLANFULNESS

    The subscale reflects the preferred habit of the individual to deal with change and uncertainty.

    In a relationship where one partner has a high level of spontaneity and the other has a high level of planfulness, there can be a number of problems that arise as a result of their differences in this trait. Some potential issues include:

    • The high spontaneity partner may feel frustrated by the high planfulness partner’s tendency to over-schedule and stick to a rigid plan.
    • The high-planfulness partner may feel pressure to be more flexible and spontaneous, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
    • The high spontaneity partner may become increasingly disengaged with his partner’s desire to plan how will they spend their time together, which will be interpreted as a lack of interest in togetherness and sharing experiences.
    • The high planfulness partner may struggle to understand or relate to the high spontaneity partner’s lack of foresight and tendency to (what looks like) being more impulsive.

    In terms of how these difficulties may manifest, it could be difficult for them to make plans or decide on activities, as the high spontaneity partner may want more freedom and flexibility, while the high planfulness partner may want to stick to a schedule or a set plan. The high spontaneity partner may also see the high planfulness partner as too rigid or restrictive, while the high planfulness partner may see the high spontaneity partner as too unpredictable or disorganized. They may also have different approaches to managing their time and resources, which can lead to disagreements and conflicts.

    MORAL RELATIVISM VS MORALITY

    The subscale reflects the degree to which the individual tends to showcase flexibility towards rules, norms, and ethics

    In a relationship where one partner has a high level of moral relativism and the other has a high morality, there can be a number of problems that arise as a result of their differences in this personality trait. Some potential issues include:

    • The partner with high moral relativism may struggle to understand or relate to the high morality partner’s desire to rigidly follow every single small rule, norm, or expectation of society, leading to a lack of communication and understanding, and even conflict.
    • The high morality partner may feel frustrated by this partner’s tendency to view morality as relative to the situation or culture.
    • The partner with high moral relativism may feel pressure to conform to his partner’s moral or ethical standards, leading to feelings of frustration and ultimately alienation.
    • The high morality partner may feel frustrated by his partner’s tendency to act in ways that he considers to be ethically or morally questionable.

    In terms of how these difficulties may manifest, it could be difficult for them to navigate conflicts or disagreements, as the high morality partner may be more inclined to stand up for what they believe to be right, while the partner with the high moral relativism may be more inclined to put their own self-interests or practical considerations first. The high morality partner may also become more critical of his partner’s actions and behavior, which can lead to arguments, resentment, and defensiveness. They may also have different approaches towards decision making which can lead to them disagreeing on what course of action to take.

    PROGRESSIVISM VS CONSERVATISM

    This core value reflects the beliefs, attitudes, preferences, and judgments about structure, rules, authority, rituals, history, norms, old-fashioned virtues, and change; 

    In a relationship where one partner professes the value of Progressivism and the other partner professes the value of Conservatism, there can be a number of problems that arise as a result of their differences in this core value. Some potential issues include:

    • The progressive partner may feel frustrated by the conservative partner’s tendency to favor tradition and stability over change and progress
    • The conservative partner may feel pressure to conform to the progressive partner’s belief in social change and constant development, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
    • The progressive partner may become increasingly disengaged with the conservative partner, because of his propensity to reject anyone that is different, strange, and unpredictable, all of which, the progressive types find interesting and desirable as a company.
    • The conservative partner may struggle to understand or relate to the progressive partner’s attraction to change and constant progress, which he honestly finds unnecessarily risky.
    • The progressive partner may feel authority must be challenged and truly believe in equality, while the conservative partner cherishes authority and truly believes people should respect and follow it.

    In terms of how these difficulties might manifest, it could be difficult for them to navigate conflicts or disagreements on issues such as economic decisions, social issues, or political ideologies, as the progressive partner may be more inclined to advocate for change, while the conservative partner may be more inclined to preserve the status quo. The progressive partner may also become more critical of the conservative partner’s position, which can lead to arguments, resentment, and defensiveness. They may also have different approaches toward what they consider the right way to address a problem since the progressive types will look for open-mindedness and the conservative types will look for preserving the status quo, all of which can lead to them disagreeing on how to approach a particular issue.

    Knowing the problems, what can we do about them?

    If the discussed problems are familiar to you and you want to work on yourself so that they do not happen to you in the future, we offer you two solutions:

    PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILING

    We recommend you (and your partner if you have one) undergo a process of in-depth psychological profiling so that you could:

    • Understand the exact manifestations of your human nature in the context of the mentioned mechanisms above
    • Find out about all of the other characteristics of your human nature and their manifestations.
    • Be able to aim at the right potential partner (if you are still searching) or understand how different you actually are from your current partner (analysis of potential fit/match).
    • Deal with the challenges (for yourself or with your partner if you have one) and improve your relationship.
    Learn More

    DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM

    We recommend you (and your partner if you have one) to go through our personality development program, which will help you (both) to:

    • Improve your capabilities in the mentioned mechanisms above
    • Improve your relationship (if you are currently in one)
    • Become a better partner for your potential future loved one (in case you are still searching)
    • Gain knowledge and skills, customized to address all the problems above and many more.
    Schedule a free Consultation

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